Did you ever Look?

Did you ever look up into the sky to see what's up there? Depending of course on the time of day, you may see the sun, the moon, clouds, stars, planes, birds, etc. But I've never seen God.

First there was light.

Until then, God sat in the dark, twiddling his thumbs while basking in his greatness. Suddenly it came to him...POP!

Earth.

A little background. Roughly 13.7 billion years ago there was this somewhat significant event scientists know as the Big Bang. Gasses and particles and atoms made sweet, sweet love, and the earth as we know it, their spawn.

But that's just one theory. The other goes like this:

Let there be light! I need a light!

Well it looks like my ignorance has gotten me a little ahead of myself. As it is written...

Book of Genesis

1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 

1:2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 

Damn. This really hurts the Big Bang Theory. Or is God himself The Big Bang?

1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. 

Light, wonderful! What is the source of the light? The sun? And would the sun be considered part of the heaven or earth? I would argue that it can't very well be part of the earth because the sun is a star, the earth is a planet, and we're a couple hundred thousand miles apart. So it must be heaven. Hot, scorching, fry-your-skin heaven. 

1:4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.   

1:5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. 

What does this mean? Was there an actual physical divide, or was God creating dictionary entries for his spinning-planet-around-the-sun scenario? I don't want to get into it with God, but isn't this really quite the same as calling the grass green and water wet? Dark is night, Day is light...

1:6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.  

1:7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.  

1:8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

Do I need to take a class before I delve into this? I'm lost already. I think what happened here is that when God created the earth, it was all water. Is this right??? Then he created a heaven, and split the water in half.

1:9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.   

Now he realizes a water world isn't necessarily the greatest idea.

1:10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.   

Agreed. I'm calling it good too.

1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.   

1:12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.   

Agreed again. And to think I was completely lost just moments ago.

1:13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

Okay, even I'm getting pooped now. God, how about we take a night off before we finish this thing off?

1:14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:  

1:15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.   

I guess not. This seems redundant, and I think fatigue is wearing on you, sir. We already had separation of light and dark, which I now understand that what I had previously assumed (incorrectly, as it were) about the sun was another source of light altogether. 

Now we get the sun and the moon. Earth revolves around sun, moon revolves around earth.

I'm all caught up.

1:17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,  

1:18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

1:19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Kind of a slow day, eh G? 

1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.  

1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.   

1:22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

Sorry about the wise-ass remark after day 4, God. You were already planning a crazy day 5! I can only imagine the creatures you'd have come up with if you had been working with George Lucas on all of those Star Wars movies. Wait, were you working with Lucas on Star Wars? Never mind.

1:23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

1:24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.  

1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.   

Did someone say cattle? As in cow? As in...steak???? 

This is obviously one of God's greatest accomplishments.

Thank you, God. From the earth.

1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 

And God created man and kinged him ruler of earth.

1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.  

Yet, it still seems nice. He could have really screwed us by making us all self reproducing males. Or worse...females.

1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.  

Now make some babies! 

I think God is saying here, "I've given you all of the resources you need to survive and grow, now go have some fun!"

1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.   

Yup.

1:30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

Bingo.

1:31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. 

Well, I can't argue with being proud of this enormous accomplishment, especially when considering all that's been done in six short days. 

But sloppy work yields sloppy results, and there is no reason to be proud about creating roaches. There will be more examples to come...

Once it was called The Great American Experiment

But that had almost nothing to do with this blog. Instead I made it obvious, a flat out, no bullshit description of precisely my intended mission. Wait for it...


I'm going to read the Bible, and then blog about it. Sounds fascinating, doesn't it? Well to date I've had plenty of conversations, arguments and opinions about the Bible, and access to any number of arguments disclaiming its authenticity is available to any 5 year old with a keyboard. 

There it is: The Holy Bible (sometimes also referred to as just The Bible). Looks thick. Well here I go. I hope to keep someone entertained aside from myself, and I look forward to reading your comments.


First, there was light. Or something like that. I'll get to it.